For the last few years, those of us who are sane, well-balanced and not completely full of ourselves and our self-importance have been quietly, or maybe not so quietly, making fun of the headset crowd — the guys (they’re almost all guys) who go about their day, on the street, in restaurants, everywhere, with a headset or earpiece attached to their heads, with a flashing blue light indicating bluetooth communication with their phones, talking to invisible people and even gesturing as if the person on the other end of the conversation can see them.
This was fun for a while.
But there are still a lot of people who are resistant to such asinine behavior. Or perhaps they just can’t afford or don’t wish to spend the money on a bluetooth headset. On the street, or in a restaurant, this is no big deal, their belt-mounted communication device will play obnoxious songs, or vibrate, or twitter or chirp, to indicate that a call is coming in, and they can swiftly (they practice the draw-and-phone drills in front of their bathroom mirror at home to look cool) answer the call and begin their oh-so-important call, about groceries, or their friends’ kids’ new zit, or whatever.
These people will soon be converted. Because of the automobile. Many jurisdictions are clamping down on using handsets while driving. These people will now be forced to do something. Now it used to be, that when I was driving and expecting a call, I would plug in my wired earbud. Since obtaining a Prius, however, I have experienced the pinnacle of modern mobile communication. Modern Toyota, Lexus and some other vehicles have bluetooth connection integrated into their navigation and entertainment subsystems, and the integration is done so well that once it’s set up you only have to do it once. Now, when I enter the car and push the power button, the navigation system launches, and a line appears at the top of the screen: “Bluetooth Connection Successful.” This indicates that my navigation/entertainment system has successfully negotiated with my belt-mounted mobile phone. I start the car, and start listening to whatever audiobook, language lesson or XM channel I’m in the mood for that day. When a call comes in, the audio is interrupted, a ringing sound comes through the 9-speaker audio system of the vehicle, and I answer it, with a button on the steering wheel. The nav screen even tells me the number of the person who’s calling (sometimes). My voice is piped through a microphone on the system, and the caller’s voice is piped through the 9-speaker audio. To outsiders, it looks as if I’m talking to myself. No flashing blue nerdset is visible on my head, so I must just be talking to myself.
The advantage to this is, once more people become aware of this reality, they will start to assume I’m on a call. They will make fun of me for being a nerd, instead of for babbling insanely to nobody, or making fun of my bad Spanish as I practice along with an audiobook. And by participating in this insanity, I am providing the world just that much more entertainment. I still think it makes much more sense than the bluetooth headsets.
